Just wanted to drop you a note on the slim chance that you blurk on the internet occasionally. Since you say that women choose, I just wanted to make sure that there is no confusion about how I feel. I choose you! Please give me some kind of sign that you have surrendered to my advances, like a wave or a hand signal of some kind! So whenever you want to do that sack thing or the balloon thing (who did you do that for anyways?), maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Ke? You just put your lips together and… blow. Or better yet, tattoo a body part.

Love,
sta-cie

P.S. Thanks to all the Keanuriffic people whose articles and photos I referenced: Keanu A-Z, Club Keanu, Keanuholic and special thanks to Sweet Keanu.